You’re right. You have a problem. And Chromercise is the solution.
Three weeks ago, we released a new stable build of Chrome which featured our biggest speed improvements to date. These improvements represented a 66 percent lift in JavaScript performance on the V8 benchmark suite, which, as you surely know, is an exciting accomplishment.
In other words, Chrome is now wicked fast. But a web browser can only process data as quickly as users can tell it how to do so -- i.e., type. You, in other words, are now the Internet’s most debilitating gating factor. In 1946, Stella Pajunas-Garnand set a world record by typing at a blistering 216 words per minute. What have you been tested at lately? Once we learned that the average Internet user ambles in at 33 words per minute—a crushingly disappointing 15.277777778 percent of the existing milestone—we decided to conduct our own research into the state of finger speed and performance.
Browsing the web with Chrome involves two key finger movements: the up-and-down motion of a finger pressing a key, and the back-and-forth movement of a finger scrolling the wheel of a mouse. To reach a standard measurement for speed and performance, we combined eight key metrics from both movements to produce the Finger Dexterity Index (FDI), which we’ve mapped below against the V8 Benchmark:
That squiggly red line is the web’s human users. That growing expanse of blue above the squiggly red line represents the vast realms of informational bliss that currently go unexplored by those benighted users who have yet to adopt Chromercise, our new exercise regimen for your hands and fingers. Existing finger exercises focus on upgrading these crucial digits’ cardiovascular strength and musculature; other programs focus mostly on dexterity. Chromercise’s unique blend of rigorous aerobic motion and tailored rhythmic accompaniment covers all of the above while simultaneously tightening and toning your fingers’ actual appearance.
A few words of caution: be sure to stretch before and after “Chromercising,” and it is recommended that you attempt the complex moves at the end of the workout video only after mastering the core movements from the first half. We also strongly urge you to utilize finger sweatbands for safety and comfort throughout your workout.
And above all else, remember that the success of any fitness program derives from the commitment level of the participant. Training and strengthening your fingers for fast web browsing is a lifestyle change; you can’t expect a complete transformation overnight. A great way to ensure you stick with the workout is to incorporate Chromercise into your daily routine by combining it with other common activities.
You could Chromercise on the steering wheel of your car while driving to work, for example (one hand at a time of course, for safety). Or even practice scrolling the wheel of a mouse when it’s not in use--while doing another activity you enjoy, such as watching television or walking your family pet.
A better web starts with a speedy browser and a single hand. Improving your finger dexterity with Chromercise lets you play a significant role in preserving and improving the Internet, not just for yourself and your fellow users of today, but for all those who inhabit the online world long into the future.
Download Chrome now !
